Week of April 21, 2019

Recap #

I had a nice quiet Easter. I played video games most of the day, made a ham that was far too big for the number of people being fed, and finished the day with an episode of Game of Thrones. A simple, unhurried, relaxing day. I love these kind. I wish I had more of them.

All week, Scott and I were in countdown to Avengers: Endgame mode. We're practically like kids at Christmas over this thing. I had my theories about how the saga plays out. Scott had his. We thought each other were wrong. It was a fun week of speculating about a movie.

The assessment for my parents current condition to determine the level of care they need finally happened. The social worker gave them a good report, considering their cognitive impairments. She said that we have done an excellent job putting supports in place that have allowed them to stay at home this long. She could foresee them staying like this for approximately a year, but these kinds of things can't really be predicted. Any event could take place that would drastically change things. I understand what she is talking about. We've already been through these kinds of milestones that were the trigger for a steady decline in either my mom or my dad. She also said that it is smart to be planning for where they go next, which is what I had her there to assess. I wanted to know if they could still thrive in an assisted living setting or if they were needing more care than that. She said they currently could do well with assisted living. They don't yet need to be in memory care or skilled nursing. That was a big relief to hear. That's the plan I can see them affording until they become eligible for additional benefits.

At work, I helped some projects move forward. A sat in several intense requirements gathering meetings. I got a chance to peek at some people and processes in other areas of our business that I hadn't been exposed to before. It's fascinating how each department has the same stress points even though our our contributions across the company are so different.

Endgame - NO SPOILERS #

I took the day off work to see the movie. That's my usual M.O. We went to the 10:45 am showing which is earlier than our usual time frame. I didn't want there to be any risk that someone coming out of the theater would say something as we were going in. That's why I chose that time. I also stayed off Twitter for a couple days so I couldn't accidentally see something that might spoil it.

I quite enjoyed the film. It seemed to me like a very fitting wrap up of the decade long saga. I managed to make it through the entire thing without having to go to the restroom. I usually don't make it all the way through a movie. I did above average planning of my urination schedule in order to achieve this victory. Usually, I just go when I feel like I have to. This time, I scheduled coffee so that it couldn't still have any impact and rationed how much I hydrated during the viewing. That's not exactly easy for my weak bladder. So, um, yay!

Pets: joy and sorrow #

Scott and I have had 3 German Shepherds over the course of our marriage. They are wonderful dogs to have. It's really difficult when they die and we are left heartbroken with our memories. However, we handle our grief differently. We both cry for a few days, but then Scott hangs onto how much it hurts to lose them, while I move into remembering how much joy we have when they are with us.

It's been nearly 18 months since our beloved Titan died. We got him about 18 months after our beloved Goliath died. We got Goliath only a few weeks after Aramis died because I couldn't bear how quiet our house was without him. Admittedly, that was too soon. Everything I did for puppy Goliath had me crying because I wasn't doing it for Aramis. And yet, Goliath and I still bonded very well.

Scott claimed we would never be getting another dog after the loss of Goliath crushed his heart. But when Titan was born, there were a few things that drew Scott to believe there were signs that it was time to get another dog. And, if signs are to be believed—they were right. Titan was, by far, the most perfect dog we ever had. We loved each of our dogs madly, but Titan was unusual and we knew it his whole life. That specialness even had me concerned that if we did get another dog, I would forever compare it to Titan, which wouldn't be fair to our new pet. So, I've been trying to get Scott to agree to get another breed of dog, to no avail.

I'm ready to get another dog, so that our lives can once again be filled with the fuzzy moments of bliss when they do something cute or funny or silly. Scott keeps saying he can't go through it again. He can't fall in love only to have his heart ripped from him because he knows it's coming. He's right. Our next dog will very likely die before we do, so we will feel sorrow again, but to me, the years of joy they bring to our lives is worth that sorrow. Why deny ourselves years to enjoy them just because it will come to an end someday?

The best Scott can muster now is to keep in touch with the breeder from whom we got Titan and ask her if we can come play with the puppies when litters are born. She always lets us because she wants the puppies to be socialized. Being around people is good for them and being around puppies is good for us. I get an hour or so of enjoying time with cute as hell puppies, while Scott does the same with no commitment to them. The last litter we played with were cute and I enjoyed our time, but I left feeling nothing more than “that was a fun hour.” However, during this session of playing with puppies: I found my guy and he found me. We nicknamed him “Goats” while we tussled with 4 male puppies. Sadly, he's already been claimed by someone else. Even Scott couldn't deny that this dog wants to be mine. He kept following me around and snuggling near me. When we got up to leave, he was the only puppy crying out. He hopped up on the gate and plead for me. It was so endearing! Scott still isn't ready for a dog but I told him in the car, “If the person who claimed Goats backs out, there's your sign that we need to bring him home.” Scott said if that actually happened, he would have to consider it. I don't believe he's serious, but if signs were how we got Titan, then signs might be how I get another dog.

Stuff I read this week #